


dragons & feathers

by flosculatory



Series: the bb!NBT series [1]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Next Big Thing HGTV Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4049803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosculatory/pseuds/flosculatory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there's a princess, some violence, Godzilla, and a salmon-coloured shirt. </p><p>(or, the bb!NBT AU that literally no one asked for.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunylovegoodlover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunylovegoodlover/gifts), [beginningwithA](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=beginningwithA).
  * Inspired by [Next Big Thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349583) by [earlgreytea68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreytea68/pseuds/earlgreytea68). 



> So remember when I rounded up some bb!Arthur/Eames recs? This is a direct consequence of that.
> 
> Warnings for excessive use of parentheses and one line that is so cheesy that I am just slightly ashamed.
> 
> (Anyway it's my birthday, and I'll post unabashed crack if I want to. Many thanks to EGT for letting my crack fairy soul go wild and for introducing me to people who'll go down with me. ♥)

“Eames, you’re supposed to be drawing a room for the princess in the story!”

“Well that’s what I’m doing, isn’t it?” Eames puts down his crayon and looks at Arthur, who is busy shaking his head.

“You can’t have a dragon in the princess’ room!”

Eames is dumbstruck. “And why not?”

“Because when you’re selling a room, you want to make sure it’s not too specific and appeals to everyone.” Arthur and his mother had recently become addicted to HGTV and he was very proud of himself for remembering this key piece of advice. “A dragon is too specific, stupid.”

“Well, since you’re such a design expert, what did you have in your room?”

Arthur points at his own design. He doesn’t think he’s a design _expert_ or anything (he doesn’t think in patterns like Eames does), but he still thinks his room is pretty nice. “See, it’s simple, and has feathers. Rich people like feathers. Everyone likes feathers!”

“Well, everyone likes dragons too! Saito likes dragons!”

“Sunny doesn't like dragons, she cried when Teacher was reading the dragon book last week, remember?”

A couple of desks over, Alec yells, “That's because Sunny is a girl!”

Arthur and Eames turn to look at Alec, momentarily startled out of their argument. Arthur shoots Alec a little glare and opens his mouth to tell him to mind his own beeswax and also that he is being very massage-a-nistic (Arthur had just learned that word from his mother, and was waiting for a chance to use it), when Misty Rainbow beats him to it and slaps the back of Alec’s head.

Alec’s hands fly up immediately to stop his silly hat from falling off, and upon ensuring its stability, he throws a hand up in the air and yells, “Teacher! Melissa hit me and almost knocked my hat off my head!”

A lesser student would beg forgiveness or start fervently denying any violence, but Arthur can only admire how Misty Rainbow turns to Alec and says, carefully, “My name is _Misty Rainbow_ now.”

Alec sneers. “Well my parents say that that’s not a real name, and that your parents are ridiculous for letting you name yourself.”

Arthur winces, knowing how much Misty Rainbow loves her name, and mentally prepares himself for another slap. (Arthur thinks that he could probably take or leave his own name, except for the fact that Eames always says it in a funny way. But that doesn’t matter, because Arthur is currently angry at Eames’ wrongness about the princess’ room.)

Luckily, at that moment, Miss Miles finally gets up from her desk (where she had been not-so-sneakily watching a commercial for MTV’s new reality show on her phone) and rushes over to stop the impending violence.

“Mel-Misty, please don't hit Alec. Hitting is not allowed, remember?”

From a desk behind her, Saito solemnly calls, “I believe hats are not allowed in the classroom either, Miss Miles.”

Arthur shudders at Saito’s tone and sees Miss Miles react similarly, turning briefly to look at Saito who just stares back at her impassively. Saito was a year older than the rest of the class but acted like he was a grown-up: he was the only one who bothered calling Miss Miles by her real name, and he had the best Godzilla toy. Arthur tried asking his mom for one just like it, but she said that it was only for bigger kids.

Miss Miles clears her throat. “This is true. Alec, dear, please put your hat back in your cubby.” 

When Alec stays in his seat stubbornly, Miss Miles snaps, “Now, please.”

Alec pushes back his chair noisily and trudges gloomily to the back of the classroom, declaring, “Everyone is out to get me.”

Arthur can’t be sure, but he thinks he hears Miss Miles mutter something like, “ _Les gamins_. Why can’t they all be like Gon and Ariadne?” 

Sure enough, Gon and Ariadne are seated at their desks in the corner of the classroom, whispering quietly and pointing things out on each other’s drawings, probably making suggestions. Eventually, Arthur’s gaze drifts to Alec, now hat-less, walking sullenly back to his seat. Beyond him, Arthur can see Saito who tracks Alec with his gaze until he finally takes his seat. Seemingly satisfied, Saito gives a tiny nod and returns to his drawing.

Saito’s intensity still sends shivers down Arthur’s spine, and, briefly forgetting about Eames’ drawing debacle, he turns to Eames and whispers, “Saito is super scary.”

Slightly relieved that Arthur is no longer arguing with him, Eames puffs out his chest with a large smile, and confidently states, “Nah, we're friends. Hey, Saito!”

Saito’s head whips up and he just looks steadily at Eames without responding to his call. After a beat of uncomfortable silence, Saito looks back down, working intently on his sketch.

Arthur withholds the urge to laugh as Eames looks back nervously at him, and says in a smaller voice, “...Yeah. Friends.”

Both boys return to their drawings, remembering the argument from before, and an awkward silence falls between them. Every so often, Arthur sneaks glances at Eames and sees him drawing and erasing dejectedly, without really adding anything new to the page. Eventually, Arthur breaks under the pressure and mutters, “Sorry for saying your dragon room was stupid.”

“But you still don’t like it?” Eames is now looking at Arthur with a hangdog expression, an expression that is so alien on his face that Arthur has to do a double-take.

Increasingly uncomfortable at Eames’ face, Arthur motions to the picture and clarifies, “Of course _I_ like it, but I'm not a princess!”

“But you're my princess! I drew it for you!”

Completely thrown, Arthur gapes a bit, feeling the tips of his ears burn as he looks away and mumbles, “That doesn't even make any sense.”

When he finally gets the courage to look back at Eames, his expression has dropped from hangdog to heartbroken, and that simply won’t do at all.

“I can’t be a princess because you're hardly a prince. A viscount, maybe.”

Eames’ face twists with confusion (but at least that’s better than him being sad, his face is awful when he’s sad.) “A v...?”

“A viscount? My mom read me a story about one. A viscount is like a prince, but with... less fancy clothes.”

Arthur’s blatant dig has the intended effect of revitalizing Eames’ spirits, and the latter boy starts sputtering with indignation. “I don't want to be a viscount! My clothes are awesome! My parents let me pick out this shirt, my pa says it's salmon.”

Arthur pokes him in the arm to shut him up and adds, “If you're a viscount, I can be your viscountess.”

He nearly bursts out laughing at how quickly Eames’ face lights up, and watches as he whips his hand up, waving it around in the air and calling out until he successfully captures Miss Miles’ attention.

“Yes, Eames?”

“If Melissa changed her name to Misty Rainbow, can I change my name to Viscount?”

Arthur is secretly delighted by Eames’ actions, but he is also embarrassed that he’s involving their teacher in their private affairs. He tries to tug Eames’ hand down, which is inexplicably still up in the air, and hisses, “Eames, don't be silly!”

Miss Miles is stunned for a second, but then puts on a serious considering face for Eames’ benefit and pretends to mull the idea over. “How about you change your name to Viscount Eames, but Eames for short.”

Happy at this compromise (and seemingly unaware that he just got conned), Eames nods and turns back to Arthur, smiling mischievously. Naturally, this is a smile that Arthur can’t help but return because Eames is the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to him.

Delighted, because these two have a positive feedback loop of making each other happy, Eames pokes Arthur's dimple once and returns to his drawing, scribbling something on his paper and then thrusting it at Arthur while simultaneously getting a new piece of paper from the inside of his desk.

“Eames, what are you doing now?” Arthur asks, alarmed that Eames would waste such a wonderful drawing. It’s not like it was an _awful_ room for a princess, it just wasn’t as universally appealing as Arthur’s own drawing.

Without looking up from his new drawing (which is on lined paper instead of the nice white paper that Miss Miles gave all the children, and Arthur isn’t sure that’s allowed), Eames says, “Well that's not a princess' room anymore, is it? It's a room for a viscountess, so you should have it.”

Flabbergasted at the gesture, Arthur feels his entire face heat up again and tries to catch Eames’ eye, but the latter is staring resolutely at his new sheet of paper out of his own sense of embarrassment.

Sure that further sentimentality would only lead to both of them feeling uncomfortable, Arthur just makes a small sound of acknowledgement and asks, “Well what's this added on the bed then?”

“A feather boa blanket.”

“Oh? Why?” 

Eames looks up slowly at Arthur, easy confidence back.

“I heard viscountesses liked feathers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then there's an epilogue because I take myself way too seriously.
> 
> IDK YOU GUYS


	2. Epilogue

After finally seeing all of the children out (and reconsidering her career choices for the thousandth time), Mal looks through the drawings that the students deposited on her desk. 

Some of the designs were your regular fare: Sunny’s had truckloads of pink and purple, Alec’s was pretty much a regular room with a hideously ornate and probably uncomfortable bed, which had a- was that a fedora on it? 

Mal shakes her head at the child’s strange attachment to his hat, and keeps flipping through the sketches. Gon and Ariadne’s rooms were beautiful and clearly complementary as they used some of the same designs, but in different ways. Saito drew what appeared to be the inside of a plane, while Misty Rainbow inexplicably drew a waterfall. Mal stares at it for a minute, trying to figure out if there was anything resembling a bed in the drawing, but it was just a regular old waterfall.

(She _would_ have a talk with Misty Rainbow’s parents about the girl not following instructions, but she knew from experience that it would only lead to talks of how their child needed to ‘be free to grow artistically and spiritually despite the rigidity of the school system’ and that Mal needed to ‘meditate to rid herself of the materialism that had wormed its way into her soul’. Thanks but no thanks.)

Right near the bottom of the pile, under Arthur’s (tasteful and practical) drawing, was a sheet of lined paper with a messy, but charming, sketch of a room done entirely in pencil. Mal checks the back of the page for the student’s name, but finds it blank. Flipping back to the front, Mal notices a smudge in the corner of the paper that she missed before. She squints at it for a bit, then lets out a startled laugh. 

In the corner of the drawing, like a real artist, was signed ‘Vcount Eames’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ??? Thanks for sitting through that???


End file.
